Glad to be back in the world of flash fiction with my favorite weekly writing prompt over at Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. Hope you guys enjoy this one!
Crashing
“We’re losing elevation, Tom.”
“I know Ben.”
“There are cars in those streets, Tom.”
“I know Ben.”
Tom had never flown a chopper before. He still wasn’t sure how Ben had talked him into being the one to do it. Ben was always setting him up. They had been planning the heist all summer. Weeks, even months of effort would be wasted because Tom couldn’t maintain altitude. Assuming they weren’t killed. Even if they somehow survived, the consequences would without question last the rest of their lives. There’d be no leniency.
“Tom, you’re going to crash!”
Tom panicked. He pushed down hard on the stick and the chopper lurched violently towards the ground. Too late he remembered he should have pulled back.
“Oh no oh no.”
There was a terrible grunt as the thing hit the asphalt. Cars shrieked as their drivers slammed on brakes and horns alike in a futile effort to avoid this sudden invader to their streets. Time stopped for Tom as his world crashed down. In that frozen moment, a single car dodging the pileup managed to break through and run right into Tom’s chopper.
And crushed it.
It was Dad’s favorite.
Dad was going to be pissed.
I love the dialogue that started the story. Made me chuckle. Great writing 🙂
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Thanks! Glad you enjoy ed it.
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I would guess that Tom would be hugged, by his dad with relief that he survived the crash, then he would be in big trouble! Great story.
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Hah, I might have been too subtle. It’s a remote controlled helicopter!
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Whoops! Didn’t catch that….reading again I can pick up on that. Well, his dad can not possibly be as upset with him for a toy being destroyed…just imagine if it was a real helicopter! 😀
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No doubt there!
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Men’s and there toys, whilst children will be children, loved your story.
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Thanks for reading!
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Lol. Is it really a remote controlled helicopter? What a relief! Not entirely for the dad, who has every reason to be upset, but losing his son would’ve been far worse (or, at least, it should be). Good dialogue and descriptions! Thanks for sharing this with us.
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Yes. Dad will be a little upset, bit I think he’ll get over it.
Thanks for reading
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Great story, Jon. Liked the way you tried to fool us, making us think it was a real chopper when it was a model all along (I did work that out while reading BTW!) Totally different abgle than I took, but isn’t that the joy of FFfAW – to see what others have doen with the pic? 🙂
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Absolutely is the best part. Thanks for reading!
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My pleasure 🙂
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I dread to think what the dad is going to have to say on the matter! I assume that was the heist all along? Brilliant writing!
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Yep. They stole dad’s toy and took it for a spin (cue groan for pun). Thanks for reading!
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I enjoyed it.
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I didn’t realize it was a remote control helicopter. I thought he had borrowed his dad’s helicopter like we use to borrow our parent’s car. LOL! I really enjoyed reading this. Nice to have you back!
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Glad to be back! Thanks for reading.
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Great story. Nice twist at the end, only in the last couple of lines did I get they weren’t in a real helicopter. Great dialogue too.
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Thanks! And thanks for the great picture for inspiration!
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You’re welcome, it’s really fun to see all the different stories that come from it!
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Dad might just be a bit peeved 🙂 Nice story
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Just a bit… thanks for reading!
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Nice story. I also didn’t realize it was a model till the end.
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Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks
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Great tell. Imagine having made the chopper end up on the road like that, relatively safe, when Tom couldn’t even fly a helicopter. And then, the car crushes it. I think Dad is going to be quite upset and has a right to be.
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Absolutely. Tom will remember this for some time. Thanks for reading!
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I love this.
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Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading
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my first thought was, boys and their toys, and as I read on it was evident they had some pretty big toys. nice story that engaged me from the start.
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Thanks for reading!
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🙂 🙂 good one 🙂 LOL
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Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!
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Great take! 🙂
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Thanks for reading!
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Hehehe, really nice twist at the end there, you got me!
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Thanks for reading!
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Ha ha ! I loved the twist. You set up the bit superbly.
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Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
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