Book Review – Writing Down The Bones

Why I read this book: It’s extremely well-regarded as a book for aspiring authors.

Did I enjoy it: Sort of.  It was a little too out-of-body/zen for me.

What I will learn from it:  She has a gift with words, making every expression playful and fun.  The basics covered the same sorts of things covered in so many books on writing.  One exercise she lists that I thought was particularly helpful was targeted at helping you avoid stale verbs.  She suggests thinking of a profession and listing every possible verb you can think of associated with that profession.  Then list an equal number of nouns on the opposite side of the page.  Then look at them together and see if you can match them up.

Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Natalie Goldberg’s “Writing Down the Bones” is a zen approach to writing. To Natalie, the act of writing is a spiritual activity. The book gives several tiny clips of advice covering subjects such as perseverance, inspiration, and good writing habits.
Reading this book is like reading poetry, which makes sense since the author is primarily a poet. She brings us lines like “That banana I ate in the cold kitchen Tuesday morning stopped the world.” These little clips kept each section fun and fresh. You never really knew what she might say next.
That said, this book didn’t really strike any chords with me. As much as I enjoyed the little vignettes she would set up for us, I found the book a little too Zen. While I do not believe that writing can be reduced down to cold logic and formula, there’s only so much that I can be the giraffe or sautee the blinds.
Ultimately, “Writing Down the Bones” is a well-written book that I think will be a great way to reach many writers that view themselves first as artists (but probably need to accent the second syllable of Ar-Teest to properly capture the mood). Some people may find it unfolded their hearts, or caressed their studio. For me, it swallowed the floor.

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Collaborative Storytelling

Has anybody tried collaborative story-telling?  I’ve heard about writing groups where people take turns writing chapters of a story, and was intrigued.

I have a problem.  I need to get over my incompletion hangup.  My first thought to do this would be to create a pressure to write by having somebody else depend on me.  This lead me to collaborative writing.  The more I thought about it, the more it appeals to me.

I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I play role-playing games, which essentially amounts to table-to collaborative storytelling.  People gather and talk, roll some dice to create random chance, but ultimately are gathered to tell a story.  I’ve frequently served in the role of Game Master, which means the core story, the villains, and all of the side characters are driven by me.  I’ve done this role for 20 years.  This gives me experience in I guess what I’d describe as the speed-chess of storytelling.

I think that makes me adept at quickly spinning out a yarn, and then being creative to try and tie it all together later if I put something out that didn’t quite fit.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the mistakes and “oops moments” often lead me to some of the most interesting and original content.

Taking ongoing stories where different authors try to take it different directions may be exactly what I need to get the pen going again.  (It also may be YET ANOTHER distraction that keeps me from actually finishing a single work, but hey, what can I say?).

I’ve found two.

http://www.storymash.com

http://www.storytimed.com

I’ve got one story started on storymash, and continued a few on both sites.

http://storymash.com/u/LordBrand/holuwutu/

Let me know what you think.

Also, do you know any other ways to get into collaborative writing?  Anybody have experience with it?  Thoughts?

Book Review – Invader

Why I read this book:  I was seeking out well-regarded science fiction and found this book (along with many others in the series at the used book store.  Unfortunately, we were missing the first book, but I hoped it wouldn’t matter short of having a few holes in the story.

Did I Enjoy this book:  Eh.  I gave it my first 2, and I couldn’t finish it so I have to say “No,” but the reality is that the book was “interesting” just not engaging.

What I learned from this book:  Two things:  First, alien culture is a fascinating topic that apparently can be explored in hundreds of pages without losing many readers (just not this one).  Second, sequels need to do a fair measure of building character investment so that you don’t lose reader interest if a reader starts in the middle.  I want to be clear that this need is for far more than just the plot.  There are enough references to the prior book that I wasn’t lost here any more than any other book where we have a rich history of events that characters reference.  My major concern is that the author seems to take it at a given that I’m willing to wade through hundreds of pages of nostalgia-like revisits of characters I have no relationship with.  I need things to be happening to keep me engaged.

Invader by C.J. Cherryh

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The book cover says it’s the stunning sequel to Foreigner. I would unfortunately put forth that there is nothing stunning about this book. I review this book and rate it so that any who read my reviews can continue to share in my insights, but the reality is that I was unable to even finish it. I stopped about halfway through, and this book marks the first where I have done this. It also rates my first 2 star.

On the one hand, this book had a lot of interesting things going on. We have a character, Bren Cameron, who wakes up from surgery to an urgent need to return back to his post in a country populated entirely by the alien Atevi. He represents humanity’s sole interface with this race of aliens who not only have a different language, but an entirely different way of thinking. Couple this backdrop with two major catalysts: First, while he was gone from the events of the prior book, his human government dispatched and installed a replacement… An inept replacement that now refuses to leave. Second, a human ship with unknown motives has appeared in orbit of this planet of aliens for the first time since humanity appeared on the planet. The situation is ripe for intensity.

And fails to deliver.

After nearly 300 pages, I can summarize the events of the book in probably 6 sentences or less… And with good descriptive language, I probably won’t have left out that much. Absolutely nothing seems to happen. Intensity seems to be limited to the first 20 pages of the book, and then a single scene afterward as we watch the character meet with first one political connection to another as he tries to reestablish his waned authority and calm the Atevi people from the threat they potentially face. The reader faces endless pages that promote glassy eyed re-reads while trying to make sure you didn’t miss something of interest in your desperate attempt to get to something, anything exciting.

Where this book does deliver is in the characterization of our hero, Bren. The Atevi have a fairly uniform (although complex) behavior that vary by only the most subtle differences that wouldn’t be distinctive to any but a die-hard lover of the series; the other humans are flat stereotypes begging for depth that might be realized in another 300 pages. Bren however, is the sole interesting character (which is good, because we spend an awful lot of time alone with his thoughts) that is trying to juggle his human heritage with the Atevi culture he finds himself immersed in. The author cleverly adapts even the mental expressions to be reflected in a way the Atevi think, leveraging their idioms and mental paradigms so that the reader can feel what it is to be alien… but only just so.

I did not read the first story in this series, and perhaps that is my undoing here. Like Dwight Swain’s Scene-Sequel structure, perhaps this book is simply the sequel rest period to a prior books overly intense action. Regardless, it didn’t have enough to keep me going, despite the subtle political relationships promising intrigue. If you watching a human psyche unfold and redefine itself, this book may hold something for you, but don’t hold out for something to happen… At least not in the first 300 pages.

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Welcome Home

I’m woefully delayed on this post, but I figure better late than never. Made it back to the United States a few days ago, and Wow. What a trip. If you read my post earlier on how the voyage over went, I can tell you that this one went a lot smoother. No terrible illnesses. No deadly silent drivers taking me through some of the seediest places in India on my way to who-knows-where. Just a straight-up trip back. Watched some movies (Star Wars, Deadpool, Kung Fu Panda 3), avoided eating, and then got the great joy of hugging my wife and kids in the airport.

Some closing thoughts:

1) We truly take for granted the luxuries we have in the United States, and we’ve somehow lost some qualities of compassion along the way. Example: I went out to eat with some of the co-workers… I had way too much food. It was delicious, but I was stuffed. I planned to pitch it. One of my co-workers grabbed it and had it boxed. He said he’d give it to somebody, and I thought he meant take it back to the office. Instead, he handed it to an elderly lady (either homeless or at least jobless) on the steps outside the restaurant. It really makes me think back to the “What We Throw Away” post I put up on the Perfect-The-Days blog. Over here, we’d pitch it to the trash. This is just one example, but there were so many more. Children digging through the endless piles of garbage along the streets. Even the idea of government assistance for those who cannot provide for themselves. The man who drove me around had a monthly salary of less than what it cost me to stay in my hotel for two days… And he was the primary income for his family. And yet, when I tried to tip him, he was embarrassed and a few days in started turning it down (truly insisting, even saying “Please, no more tip.”). I continued to offer each day, and he eventually accepted… But the difference is staggering.

So many luxuries that we don’t think about… I won’t say if it’s right or wrong, but I do think it’s important for us to think about them.

2) I did in fact find something to eat. I’ll have a whole post up later about food. But I surprisingly didn’t lose the kind of weight I thought I would. I guess enough rice and chicken to keep me “healthy.” More than just the food, the attitude towards eating. In the US, eating is often a chore we fit around other things. The idea of drive-thru’s came about because we are always hurrying from one place to the next, and it was convenient to grab and go. In Hyderabad, there were only two places with Drive-thru’s at all, and both were American restaurants.

The difference comes from how they perceive a meal. Some is immediately noticeable in the way the dinner menu works: You have soups. You have starters (which seemed pretty granted that you’d be getting). You have a main course. And you often don’t order each until you’ve finished the prior. This is because conversation is the most important part of every meal. You eat as a way to connect with your colleagues. Even breakfasts and lunches were communal gatherings where a dozen people from the office (and often mixings of different group members) gather and go off for a while together to eat.

Another difference here would be the hours people eat. In the US, breakfast is typically around 7-8, lunch somewhere inside 11-1, and dinner (supper) is almost always over by 7 except in weird “working late” situations. In India, the breakfast might start around 9/9:30, lunch didn’t usually start until 1, and supper isn’t until 8 or 9. Restaurants won’t even open until 7 in most cases. Bizarre!

3) Traffic. I mentioned this when I first arrived, but I wanted to add to it. A friend of mine in India told me that there’s one big difference between US drivers and Indian drivers. In the US, we drive watching to make sure we don’t hit anybody else. In India, you drive watching to make sure nothing else hits you. The difference sounds funny, but is a huge distinction. For example, in three weeks, I didn’t see a single accident. In the US, I often see 3-5 accidents a week, and I drive a lot less here than we did there. This is because in India, people are constantly aware of things going on around them. You never know, somebody could come burrowing up from the Earth, and as a driver, you want to watch for it (and check to see if this new tunnel gets you around the giant congestion just ahead). In the US, you can put the car on autopilot… Check your phone. Read your email. Text you girlfriend… Get into a wreck.

Additionally, the roads in India did not have the same kind of planning around them. Religious structures are protected, so roads often zigzag around structures declared to be a temple (for any number of the many faiths present in India). Drainage is a huge problem. Lakes formed on common roads because the water had nowhere to go. This certainly made drives interesting.

4) I had never truly felt homesick until this trip. I’m a home-body by nature. I don’t like going out. If you read my first India post, I’ve never had much interest in seeing the world. My home is my castle, etc, etc. I write this just to say that I’m almost always ready to go home as soon as I get out. But even with this being the truth, I had no idea what homesickness truly felt like. Everything I had felt before was just an annoyance. After around the two week mark, I learned this truth. True homesickness is when you can’t stand everything around you… from the smell of the laundry, to the view out your window, to the taste of the air. I was fed up with the politeness and courtesy. All of the meals had begun to taste exactly the same (which is really just not true!). I didn’t want to leave my hotel, and I hated staying in it. It was really bad.

Overall it was a great trip. Eye-opening and an exceptional opportunity that I wouldn’t trade.

And yes… It was hot.

Destiny

Destiny

“Come on come on come on! Get your stuff!”
Matt tapped his foot and glanced again at his watch. Every hour wasted was another hour he’d have to rent the damned moving truck. It was cheaper than the hotels, but that didn’t make it cheap.
Avery, his oldest stepped up, one hand on her hip and the other clutching her travel bag. “I’m tired of moving,” she whined. “Can’t we just stay in one place for a while? I’d like to you know, make friends.”
Matt dismissed her complaints with a wave of his hand and stepped forward to grab the edge of her bag and pull her towards the truck.
“You’ll understand when you’re older.” She dutifully climbed up the side and pulled open the door. A stack of fliers and brochures of locations all over the country littered the front seat. A giant “X” written in black Sharpie marked over half. His daughter pushed them to the floor. Once she was settled, he handed her a map with the paperclip on the top holding yet another flier to it.
“Destiny Falls, North Dakota. Fame and fortune await.”
This time would be the one.

Almost Regret

My mother hasn’t met either of her grandchildren. She also hasn’t met my wife, or seen the house we built after getting married. She didn’t come to my graduation from college, and didn’t call me to congratulate me on my rapid climb through corporate America. She hasn’t done any of these things because she died at age 42 while I was a junior in college.

Losing my mom so young definitely changed the way I think about life, and it certainly made a big impact on me… A very special bond existed between my mother and I. We were kindred spirits in many ways… from the books we read to the way we dealt with conflict. Her death probably damaged my psyche in a way that led me to some pretty self-destructive decisions in college (that I ultimately recovered from)… More on that later.

It could have been so much worse.

A bit of backstory.  I grew up fairly poor. My dad fell apart from over-work and eventually harder and harder drugs, which meant that life got stretched pretty thin. My mom did the best she could with the money he chose to give us. She was a stay-at-home mom, and I’m grateful for that, but there were plenty of weeks when my sister and I were walking a couple miles down the road to the grocery store because cans of tunafish and macaroni were a better purchase than gas.

That said, right around middle school, I stopped being able to get all the things my friends could. I couldn’t go on field trips that carried a parent out-of-pocket expense. I couldn’t get the cassettes (woah, dated) or later CD’s that they did. I didn’t have cool toys or the latest games on the Super Nintendo. It left me a little bitter.

College was a breakout for me. My mother was fairly disappointed because she had wanted me to live at home and commute the way my sister did… But that wasn’t going to be my life. I wanted to get away and learn who I was… not continue in the crap I had been going through. Scholarships and student loans let me escape poverty and pretend I was just another student. I lived on campus and it was great. The beginning of each school year flushed me with a bunch of money for books and living expenses that I would inevitably blow within the first month of the semester starting. The only hiccup was a process that happened every year called “Verification.”

Normally, this wasn’t a big deal. We (my sister and I) were somehow ALWAYS “randomly” selected to submit additional documentation to verify our income was in fact as low as we reported. No biggie. Mom didn’t work, so not a whole lot of paperwork to turn in.

For some reason, my junior year, it didn’t go smooth. I had to go meet with the some people in the financial aid department to discuss my situation. I waited in a really long line the weekend before classes started and finally got to talk to my representative, some gray-haired old man that wasn’t really interested in going off-script for anything. I arrive, and he tells me:

“I’m sorry, but we just don’t understand how a family of 5 could survive on this little income.”

I try to explain my situation to him. He’s not hearing it. I’m more flabbergasted because the federal government has already agreed to give me the money. The documents I sent to them were enough. This was just some secondary thing my university was doing.

Unfortunately, despite my best efforts to explain, he waves me off and tells me he doesn’t have time to go into it with me. Then he offers me the golden ticket: The university will grant me what they call an “Emergency Loan” that will cover tuition and get me through the first month while I sort out my issues. It’s a no interest loan due exactly one month after issue… If not paid in full at that time, the interest defaults up to some astronomical number (25% or something like that) compounded as often as they legally can.

Shouldn’t be an issue, gray-hair tells me… Once my student loan money clears up, that pays off the loan and we don’t skip a beat. They can even pump it up a bit to cover books.

This sounds like exactly the thing I need.

My golden ticket has a catch though. It needs a co-signer.

At this point, my world screeches to a halt. I did what any self-respecting college student does in situations like these… I called family for help.

And was denied. By my grandmother. By my aunt. By my uncles.

By my mother.

Ouch. I can look back now and realize that my mom co-signing probably wouldn’t have been enough to approve the loan and it’s possible she tried to tell me that, but all I heard at the time was “I’m not going to help you.” We argued a bit about it, and she basically said that if I had to drop out, I could move back home. I was fairly irritated since it felt like this was some nefarious plan she had concocted the day I had left home. The last words spoken on the call were mine:

“Fine, that’s okay. I’m used to not getting any help from you on anything.”

She hung up on me.

The school thing sorted itself out. I worked for the department of housing, and had made a really good impact there. They were able to expedite several things for me (perhaps more than even I knew). Maybe I’ll throw some memories on that later. Regardless, my schooling was paid for and I launched in with no issues, except one. The landmine that had been dropped between me and my mom.

Months went by, I refused to call her and she refused to call me. I didn’t go home on weekends. I had effectively cut myself off from my family, with my sister being my only real connection. My sister called me multiple times and told me that Mom constantly cried over the fact that I avoided her. My sister pleaded that I just call mom and talk to her. I wouldn’t do it.

“She hung up on me. If she wants to talk, she can call me back.”

Pride. Stubborn, terrible pride. The tragedy was, I missed talking to her too, but I wasn’t going to be the one to yield.

Until one day I finally decided to swallow that terrible pride and call. We didn’t really touch on the whole emergency loan thing, but we caught up on everything else. I talked about how school was going. She did the same (she was in classes to try and build a career for herself). We talked about my little brothers, TV shows we both watched, books we had recently read. That call ended with “I love you.”

She died a week after that call. Sudden heart-attack.

I remember my aunt picking me up at college to drive me to the hospital, ominous and speechless in the car. She hadn’t told me that my mother had died, just that she fallen and gone to the hospital. I think I worked it out on the way there, my sister’s pale face and lack of words on the drive may have been the clue. Regardless, she was gone… So young, and so many conversations between us that would never be had.

I am sad she didn’t get to meet my family or see the man I’ve grown to be. I regret the anger I held for her for months before her death. But I would have regretted them a lot more if I hadn’t swallowed pride and picked up the phone to talk. I’ve learned in the long run, fault doesn’t really matter. It could be her fault, my fault, nobody’s fault… But holding onto that just leaves regrets. And just may cost you a chance to connect with somebody important to you. How much is that worth? Should we cut off noses to spite our faces? I’m glad I didn’t, because it’s a very thin line (but an extremely painful one!) between a life-time of regret, and a life-time of almost regret.

Book Review – Elements of Style

Why I read this book:  Because it’s Elements of Style.  This book is considered a “must-have” in every writer’s library.

Did I enjoy it:  Not really.  I’m glad I read it, and think it’s a very important book for authors to read… But I had to work to turn each page.

What I will learn from this book: Tough to say.  I’ve read enough books on writing that I’ve gotten all the information contained within secondhand.  I’m familiar with all the concepts it painstakingly lays out.  So what does this one teach me directly?  No much.

CAVEAT:  I sound really negative on this book, but I’m sure you’ll notice I still gave it 4 stars below… That’s because I really think every author should read it.  If you intend to only own one book on writing, or read one book on writing…. I really believe this is an excellent book to select.  Just be prepared for a siege!

The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr.

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It is with some trepidation that I write this summary of the often quoted and much-lauded Elements of Style by Strunk, and later updated by his student White. This book has been hailed as the only book on writing you’ll ever need to read (by Stephen King), and is probably the most referenced book on writing I’ve ever seen (and I’ve read 20-30 books on writing). It is considered the penultimate go-to resource that belongs in every aspiring author’s collection. It’s even available for free online now.

Is it worth the hype?

It is, and it isn’t. On the one hand, there is a promise by all those quoting its venerable pages and all those singing its praises… A promise that is delivered. Just about any piece of advice you find in a modern (or old) book on writing is going to be found in this book. The pieces of advice provided anywhere in an almost off-hand way (show not tell, avoid adverbs in favor of stronger verbs, subject verb agreement, etc) are written in this text as Gospel. And with good reason. These are the staples of being a writer, and ignoring any principle in this book should be done so with careful thought and great hesitation. Know the rule before you break it, and make sure you are breaking it with purpose.

Other than that, the book falls short. It reads like a college textbook, which is fair since that’s what it was originally written as. It is very easy to want to skip sections to try and find something interesting to read, but turning pages in this book would be a terrible mistake. The authors practice what they preached… They have omitted needless words. Every piece of text is “meat” that you really shouldn’t miss. And yet, it’s so easy to miss it because of how congested the book can sometimes feel in its incredibly short pages. Most of the advice is timeless, but there is some that is clearly dated. An entire section focuses specifically on vocabulary and expressions, cases where the author was resisting words shifting in meaning or usage; fighting a private war against the fluidity of language, and that war has shown change to be the victor in several areas.

Don’t misunderstand me. As challenging as this can be to read, it is an imperative that every author know the principles contained therein. I am a huge advocate of “On Writing” by Stephen King and have often hailed it as the “must-own” book on writing… I agree with King at this point. The only book you really need to read is Elements of Style. Everything else is a re-hash of the content. This book does belong in every author’s collection, and should be revisited at least once a year by anybody serious about the craft. Just don’t expect to get through it as easily as the page count suggests.

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Ink

Here’s this week’s Flash Fiction for the Aspiring Writer.

Ink

“That’s 49.” George sighed, letting the warmth of satisfaction pass through him. It contrasted nicely with the cold outside. So close to done.
The stinging in his leg pulled his attention back to present. The buzz of the needle was the only sound while the tattoo artist worked. The artist leaned back and admired her work. A beautiful black outline of a malamute wrapped around his shin.
“49 Tattoos?”
George chuckled. “Yes. Some people collect license plates. I get decorated. 49 designs on the car. 49 on the skin. Almost done. Just one more state to go.”
“Good luck man.”
He nodded and smiled.
Now how was he going to get the car to Hawaii?

Book Review – Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint

Why I read this book:  I have the others in the “Write Great Fiction” series.

Did I enjoy this book:  Mostly.  There were portions that dragged, and the author clearly is a fan/writer of romance, as she favors this genre heavily in her examples, but I don’t hold that against her:  We cite examples from that which we know.

What I learned from this book: Her draft approach of Character/Reader/Writer is a great philosophy, and I’ll try applying it in my own work to see if I can gain some speed that way.

Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint: Techniques and Exercises for Crafting Dynamic Characters and Effective Viewpoints by Nancy Kress

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

In Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint, author Nancy Kress fulfills the promise of the title and takes us through these three areas of story development. For the character side, she provides a lot of good ideas and details on fleshing out backstory (even if you never directly use it). Likewise, she touches on several categories and how much they should be focused on, such as appearance and dialect.

Her book shines on the emotion side, covering both the basics of emotion and techniques for showing them rather than telling them. She also hits in great detail on several key emotion/emotional moments: Love, Fighting, Death, and Frustration.

On the Viewpoint front, she covers the basics: Third Vs First, Limited Third vs Omniscient Third. She does however, go a bit further and dives into some detail on distance when writing Third, noting the differences in an extremely close third, vs one so distant it’s only a step away from omniscient.

All in all, there’s not a whole lot here that you wouldn’t get from Techniques of the Selling Author or Writing Tools, or any of the more comprehensive Story-Craft novels out there, but she does reiterate one point that stuck with me and may help influence the way I structure my own draft process: When writing, you have to be three people: Writer, Character, and Reader. She describes an informal drafting methodology of writing first as character… Getting all the emotions, thoughts, feelings, and actions on the page. Second pass is as a reader… Make sure all the details are present that need to be there. Third pass is finally as the writer. Are the symbols rightly woven in? Does this scene need more sculpting? Should this sentence be its own paragraph?

If you enjoy books on writing as hobby, this one is a pleasant, easy read. If you are digging specifically for new tips and tricks, you may find one or two nuggets here worth mining, but otherwise your time is probably better spent on the classics of the genre.

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Disney Challenge

I saw this on another blog and wanted to post the same questions on mine.  Timed well with my recent flash fiction White Snow.  I’m also including Pixars in this.

1. What Disney scene do you wish you could experience?
I wouldn’t mind riding on Microbots (Big Hero 6), or experiencing dinner with Lumiere at Beast’s Castle… or (I’ll admit it!) building an ice palace as Elsa.

2. An unforgettable experience you’ve had at the parks?
My most unforgettable experience was actually my first trip to the parks, and it wasn’t a great one. We had taken a Disney cruise, and one of the stops involved a shuttle to Disney World. I picked up a wheel-chair for my mother-in-law before riding the ferry into the Magic Kingdom.

We ended up getting separated at the Carousel, with my pregnant wife with her wheel-chair ridden mother on one side, and me and our 2 year old on the other side. The staff wouldn’t let me cross the rope and get to them… Even as they allowed other people (guests, not staff) to pass. Irked me a great deal while I walked the whole way around through the castle to reunite with my family and push the wheel chair. The evening didn’t end there though.

After fireworks, I went to return the wheelchair at a spot where there were a ton of other wheel chairs being dropped off… And I made the mistake of asking if I could leave mine. The man told me I had to return it where I got it. So my wife and mother-in-law went to go get on our bus back to the cruise ship, while I hopped on the ferry to take the wheelchair back. Beforehand, I checked to ensure the ferry would be running. I was told the ferry would run until 9:30.

I get over … and everything is closed. I take the wheelchair up to the building I got it… And nobody is there. Standing there a moment or two, somebody emerges from the door, trying to lock it behind her, and I catch her. She has no idea why I’m returning the wheel chair, and says I could have left it back at the castle. Fortunate, right?

So I get back to the ferry. They let everybody off, but don’t open the side to let me on. The boat goes back across without me. Meanwhile, the buses are preparing to leave for the cruise ship. I climbed the fence/gate so I could go stand directly on the pier. When the boat docked, they asked to back up, which I did… But I just lurked while everybody got off. Then I tried to just walk on. They refused me. They said they didn’t bring passengers back after 9:00. Sure it runs til 9:30… One way.

Meanwhile my wife has to stall the bus, which needs to depart so the cruise ship can leave on time. I walk right past the cast members on the boat and refuse to get off. They call security, and ultimately get confirmation that I can take the boat back.

Made it back to the cruise ship…Not a great first experience at Disneyworld. The cruise was incredible though!

3. What non-Disney song brings back memories of Disney?
I’m not sure, honestly. I guess if I hear “The Lion Sleeps tonight” I think of Lion King.

4. When was the first time you went to a Disney park?
2013. I was 31. See story above!

5. If you could choose any of the characters to be your best friend who would you choose?
Mickey for sure. He’s a super bestfriend, and knows everybody.

6. Who is your favorite Disney Princess?
Belle because she most values reading, or Tiana because she most values hard work.

7. Name a scene in a Disney movie that never fails to make you cry?
Don’t want a spoiler… But that scene in Inside Out on the rocket. Just thinking of that scene makes me tear up.

8. What is your favorite Disney movie?
Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Inside Out, Mulan, Big Hero Six.

9. Overrated Disney movie?
I can’t stand Sleeping Beauty. SO boring. Can’t blame it on being an early movie… I think Cinderella and Snow White are great. I don’t know how “The Good Dinosaur” did, but other than the amazing eye candy, that movie was TERRIBLE.

10. Underrated Disney?
I have to go with The Princess and the Frog. I think it came out in really close proximity with Tangled (which was also fantastic), but I don’t think the movie gets enough support.

11. Favorite Disney song?
So many good ones… Part of your World. Something there. Let it go (I said it, and you thought it was great the first 15-20 times you heard it). Almost all of the Reprises in the Disney Renaissance period (Mermaid through Tarzan).

12. Least Favorite Disney Movie?
Sleeping beauty. Can’t get through it.

13. Most Memorable Disney Villain?
Scar was pretty good. Mother Gothel. Stepmother from Cinderella. All so manipulative.

14. Favorite Classic/Favorite Modern Disney movie?
Classic -> Cinderella. I don’t like the plot, but I do like the evil stepmother.

Modern -> So technically the “modern” era for Disney was Aristocats through Oliver and Company… If that’s what we’re going with, I’ll say Robin Hood. If we mean modern as in recent, I’ll go with Inside Out.

15. Favorite Disney score?
The music backdrop in Lion King was amazing. When Simba climbs pride rock, I really feel it every time. I also like the icy tones of Frozen. I love the spectrum of emotion represented in Inside Out. The same tune can be both happy and sad at different tempos.